Thursday, April 3, 2014

Marriage (a great lover and a true forgiver)

"jadi ko bila lagi?"

my boss asked me this question today.
as today our ward actually received two wedding invitation from other wards. 
and one of our staff (the youngest staff) was married 2 weeks ago.
now, i get the title the oldest single female staff in my ward.

"shery, ko bila mau kawin?"

"jangan kasi lama bah, mau jalan-jalan di kota belud ni"

"bah kad kau lagi ni kami tunggu-tunggu"

i am turning 25 this year and if you're 25, female and single (belum kahwin maksud saya arr..), this question should be very familiar to you.

a month ago, my boss told me
"perempuan paling sesuai kahwin masa umur 25. tidak terlalu muda dan tidak terlalu tua"

few of my workmate told me weeks ago
" 25 is the most suitable age to get children. subur."

orang kampung saya bilang,
"sudah ada kerja bah, apa lagi mau tunggu, kahwin saja"

grandmas in my village keep saying.
"bah, kumawin noh toruhai, kokito poh daa diya dot kumawin ti noh"
"kawin cepat-cepat, supaya kami sempat tengok kau kahwin"

i been asked the some question over and over again since i started working in 2012.
i don't hate them for asking me the questions because honestly, i also keep asking myself the exact same question, over and over too.


i mean i am 25 this year, kalau dulu-dulu 5 orang anak sudah bilang nenek saya.
but before i could really answer this question another question pop-out in my head.

'am i ready for a marriage?'

25 years old, not too old and not too young, good timing for having children, have a job.
with all the advantages i have above, am i qualified enough for a marriage?

i don't know much about marriage, but for me marriage a big deal.
it's the first step you take to the new phase of your life. 
and the new phase is not just about you alone anymore.
you gonna have to share it with the one you've chosen to grow old with.
and they said, growing old with someone is much more different than growing up with your sisters or brother.
you need to be a great lover and a true forgiver.

i know i will have to go through that phase someday.
but maybe not now.
 i am pretty sure i am not a true forgiver. 
not yet at least.
 and yes, of course i am walking forward to it, but why the rush?
i mean, takkan lari jodoh dikejar kan.
so, i decided to enjoy every step that i take toward it.
*to all my 'great lover and true forgiver' friends out there, i really admire you guys!

i was lucky my parent didn't like to interfere with my love life.
especially my mom.
she told me once that she don't have to lecture me about what should i do with my life because when the right times comes, it will happen eventually.
thank you ma. 
muah muah!


"jadi ko bila lagi?"

"palan-palan bah boss. keke"

l i l i e j o h n


  1. lain kali klu ada orang tanya ko lagi... c taw durang... ka c sembayang sy supaya sy cepat kawin bilang...:)

    1. Hahaha.. Kdg2 sy jawab, "kumpul2 duit dulu" kdg2 "bf sy blm cukup duit" kdg2 "harap2 secepat yang.mungkin"...mgkn lps ni sy akan ckp "kasi sambayang sy spya kahwin" la. Hahaha

  2. Hi Lilly,

    In my point of view.

    Marriage is one whole of big deal. Agree when you said, it is not only alone about you anymore. That two soul become one who make a promise to grow old together.

    For me, honestly - I am scared with marriage. Idk, if it is right for me to say it's actually because of commitment or it just the fact that once you get married with a person that's mean you are going to stuck with her or him forever. You are lucky if you meet with the right person whom you love with all your heart and same goes to him or her. But how if, you thought that you met the right one but actually you are not?. You may say, "Hey Avo, come on let's be positive enough. You can't predict future." The truth may be hurtful enough but seriously marriage is scary. I have loads of things to say but I can't even put it in words either.

    Luckily,nobody ever ask me when I am going to settle down. But if they are going to ask me in the near future, I would say I am waiting for superman and he got stuck at the payphone.

    Oh Gosh, I am not a true forgiver and yet I am scared with commitment.

    1. i can totally relate. i am scared of commitment too and i have no confident in myself.
      ues, it is just so scary and i am just so jelous of my friend because they really taking a risk,
      in the end,there gonna be a time where we have to take risk confidently.
      maybe not now. but we cannot play safe all the time jg kan..
      let's see. hihi

  3. hahaha I am glad I didn't get that question yet :D coz my study lg kan maybe next year ada suda kali hehe
    my big bro 35 pun blum khwin and yes guys bah so no problem and my parents pun like yours jg so I'll take my time too

    1. yalaaaa..sometimes i wish i am a man, no need to worry bila mau kahwin! haha.. ko pn x lama lg tu dora.. hihi

  4. mandak. palan2 ba. the night is still young org bilang..haha..enjoy dulu ur single life puas2 baru pikir pasal kawin. me myself pun lambat kawin when all my dear friends suda kawin and ada yg beranak pinak smpi 5 org anak :) but if u find the right man suda dan ready to settle down, kawin saja la ba.. miahahaha..if not, take ur time ya...

    1. Ya betull. Mmg mau enjoy puas2 ni umr 30 kali br pkr psl kwin.. Klu kana pinang la masa tu..hahahaha

  5. Oh my, thank goodness I have never really been asked this question that much. Dulu masa belajar dilarang keras bercinta, sekali kerja sudah maaaaalaaaarrr kena suruh kahwin kan. Lol. No need to feel pressured la. Like you said, takkan lari jodoh dikejar. Sekarang ni enjoy dulu go travelling puas2 (if you're into it la) and pursue your interests. Take your time.. (^-^)

    1. Ow..i want to go travel soo much but all of my friend are married and yg single are just so busy with their bf so indont really have friend to go travel with. I just hope my bf will finish his study soon and i can bring him travel.. Haha


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